Tears stuck in your throat hurt worse than tears dripping down your cheek. My mother told me, but I never listened.
I learned early to cram those tears deep into my soul, like packing gunpowder into an antebellum rifle.
People tell me shame is the best ammunition: a cluttered conscience, failure, an unfinished task. Mold each one into the perfect bullet and pack it in deep with all the fear you can muster. The fear that you might really be who you think you are. Continue reading
The media have made much of the new Bishop of Rome and his uncharacteristic way of being the Pope. He lets children sit on his papal chair, he embraces disfigured men, and he generally refuses to enjoy the customary luxuries of the papacy. The Guardian went so far as to call him the “un-Benedict,” in reference to his more traditional predecessor. Continue reading
Joe Biden made news recently for calling gay marriage the “issue of our day.” I do not know if the statement is newsworthy, but it is certainly true. In the political sphere, in the religious sphere and in our families, the one issue that has the most potential to set off a firestorm of thoughtless rants and bullheaded comments (from either side) is marriage equality. In my own denomination, gay marriage is the issue that threatens the most division, especially in recent months.
But I don’t want to talk about the issue of gay marriage. I want to talk about how we handle disagreements between human beings.
This is not the first wedge issue to divide people, and it will not be the last. Slavery, civil rights, abortion, birth control – you name it, humans will find a way to divide ourselves based on our beliefs about it. And if you think “gay” marriage is a hot topic, just try talking about queer identity or the fluidity of gender. Figuring out homosexuality will not solve the underlying problem of contagious polarization.
Polarization is how we describe people on two sides of an issue being so far apart, they cannot even understand the other’s point of view. It is a word borrowed from the political world to describe the movement of political attitudes to two ideological extremes. It is what makes us use labels like “liberal” or “conservative” instead of building a relationship with someone and learning the complexities of who they are. In many ways, polarization is why I began this blog.
The problem is that polarization does not remain in Congress, and it does not remain in politics. In fact, it is unclear whether national politicians or the American people are to blame for polarization in the first place – it is a political chicken-and-egg question. Is Congress polarized because we are polarized? Or is Congress’s polarization “trickling down” to the public? The best answer is that both are a little bit to blame.
As someone pursuing ordination in a mainline Christian denomination, then, I am ever more aware of how religious organizations are contributing to this polarization. The church is not only unaffected by the rampant polarization in the rest of society; we are part of the problem. As an inherently political institution, the church only seems to aggravate these sorts of disagreements. After all, once people are in a position of power, they want to use that power to make the greatest difference possible.
What do we do, then, when every person in our society, religious or not, is constantly barraged by the radical polarization of 21st century society? What do we do when we are so culturally-programmed to alienate and divide that we cannot even see those who disagree with us as people?
It is good to have the conversation about theological issues. Talk about religious motivations for holding a given position. These are all good conversations to have.
But my own faith, one that claims to represent the living “body of Christ,” still fails to meet the most basic rule of living together in peace. Until we choose to actively resist the polarization that contaminates these conversation, we will fail to be the body of Christ. Until we can choose to first “love our neighbors as ourselves,” we will not reflect the love we claim God has given to us. Until we remember that we are called not to be belligerent and abusive in our language but “completely humble and gentle…patient, bearing with one another in love,” we will not taste any sort of unity. Until we learn the basic concept of treating each other as children of God, the world will not know the simple truth that we are all beloved.
Kid President knows how to deal with it. Number 4 on his list of 20 Things We Should Say More Often? “I disagree with you, but I still like you as a person who is a human being and I will treat you like that because if I didn’t it would make everything bad and that’s what lots of people do and it is lame.”
Sometimes, it’s just as simple as that: Treat each other like human beings. Don’t be lame.
Now, many roll their eyes at this point, groaning, “Please, I already know this. I’m not the problem.” If your eyes are rolling, I want to challenge you. You see, I find myself to be part of the problem every single day. Last week, for instance, one of my best friends and I could not continue a conversation, because I refused to believe that a human being could remain unmoved by a viral video about the meat industry. I believed the lie that he was somehow less-than because he did not agree with me.
Religious leaders who treat anyone as “issues” rather than people, have fallen into the trap of polarization – they have left basic human decency behind. Faithful people who leave their faith because of its views on a given issue have failed to see the flicker of God that resides in even those with whom they most vehemently disagree. My peers – young people rightly looking to change the world for the better – all too often choose to be “prophetic” over a more foundational commitment to love. In today’s world, I wonder if indiscriminate love is not the most prophetic thing we can do.
So let’s all take a cue from Kid President. Treat people like human beings. Don’t be lame.
If you were raised in the last two or three decades, you probably grew up being told that other people’s opinions don’t matter. You were told that it was important to be yourself and do what you love, and if other people have a problem with it, well that is their problem. When you were a little girl in middle school who wanted to have short hair and long shorts, someone probably told you to express yourself, because your uniqueness would be appreciated later. When you were a teenage guy who would rather go listen to 
musicals than watch a football game, someone probably told you to follow your passions, because it would pay off when you were a famous movie star. And when you just could not seem to fit in, and you found friendship in literary characters and wholeness in solitude, someone probably told you that all those smarts would pay off eventually. Basically, you believed that life would turn out as some great reversal of fates à la Revenge of the Nerds. Continue reading
Do you ever get the sense that who you are on the inside looks nothing like who you present to everyone else? If not, good! If you’re unsure, I have a challenge: take a look at your last five posts on Facebook, and then compare it to how you spent the last five hours. I believe some people’s inner self and their public self match up. As for me, if my Facebook is a full reflection of myself, then the entirety of who I am is: A proud divinity student looking to change the world, passionately concerned for the lives of the suffering, a dedicated defender of human rights everywhere, and a damn good fiancée.
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Life Reconciling 